I am fortunate enough to be living and breathing my calling. I have one clear intention-to hone myself into the clearest instrument so that I may mirror back the light and beauty that shines through others. I've dedicated my life to hearing my heart's unique song so that I can help others discover theirs. My purpose is to spread the message of hope and wonder that springs from my life experiences.
I wasn't always able to hear or trust my own wise voice. I spent years searching for external happiness, then discovered what I was really seeking was myself. All of my experiences, both joyful and painful, were perfectly tailored to lead me here, wide-eyed in amazement.
From a young age, I was fascinated by the big questions like, "Who am I and What is my purpose?" These inquiries kept me oriented towards my true path, even when my life felt very difficult. Starting in my teens, a tumultuous home life mixed with severe depression, body hatred, and self-harm led me to wonder if I would ever be happy. My inner critic regularly bullied me, telling me I wasn’t good enough and certainly wasn’t lovable. I felt trapped in my emotions and disconnected from the world. But even still, there was a faint glimmer of hope that kept me alive and searching for guidance.
One day in my teens, my higher self told me that my suffering could be used to help others, and I was being shaped for a greater purpose I didn’t yet understand. This insight flitted in and out of my conciousness, and I would come back to it in times of great struggle and find peace. I had a sense that my search for truth was actually inviting hardships that would refine and prepare me. I am comforted during difficult times, as my wise self knows it is a necessary trial to be stripped down to my most essential parts. However, it is human nature to want to avoid pain at all costs. My daily intention is to surrender to my experiences and ask what life is trying to teach me.
As I grew older, the big questions stayed with me like loyal companions. I allowed myself to wander, living all over the world, trying to gather as many experiences as possible. I was partly running from my depression and past traumas, but I quickly learned the hard truth of "Wherever you go, there you are." I was also challenging myself, hoping there was a reserve of strength and resilience I hadn't yet accessed. I kept my eye out for clues, hoping the answers would eventually arise.
One day in the middle of a meditation retreat, I had the very clear realization that I wanted to be a therapist. During my darkest days, I had had a therapist who patiently restored my ability to hope. Her steady care and compassion nurtured me back to life, and I suddenly felt compelled to give this back to others. This revelation gave me a renewed clarity, focus, and enthusiasm, and I felt like I was coming alive for the first time. Every moment that I’ve engaged with this calling has felt like a homecoming, and I am so grateful.
Every one of my experiences has cracked my heart open, allowing me to love more fully. They have also shown me what blocks are preventing me from fulfilling my potential and embracing the life I was meant to live. Now several years into my therapy practice, I consider each day with clients a precious gift. Guiding others to find peace and empowerment, no matter how painful the circumstances, is part of my spiritual practice. When I get to know my clients, I start to clearly envision the happiest and most fulfilled versions of themselves. It is such a joy witnessing clients begin to blossom and cherish their true selves.
Every year it becomes clearer to me how I have been guided, held, and loved by a greater force. My spiritual life has always been an integral part of my happiness. I grew up Christian and felt a very strong connection with the divine as a child, but separated from my church due to ideological differences. I was then drawn to Buddhism, and I still deeply resonate with those teachings and practices. Now my spiritual life has evolved to become all-inclusive. I find inspiration in all religions, knowing each one is a beautiful expression of our loving universe. I feel closest to the divine in nature, stillness, and in the sacred, relational space with my clients.
Knowing that everything happens for our benefit allows me to relax and appreciate the ordinary magic in each day. Even when something arises that bruises my ego, I know it is there to help further my growth and awakening. We were never meant to be perfect, and my missteps help me take myself less seriously. Laughing as much as possible, playing in nature, meditating, writing, and nurturing my relationships keeps me in alignment. We all bloom into our intended states given the right nutrients and tender care. Gratitude, connection, self-love, and living with purpose keep me growing towards my guiding light.
Future therapy dog, Sebastian